“Cinta yang tak bisa diraih akan menjadi cinta yang terdalam” 29 janvier 08

I’ve got this quote from a nouvellete in a gossip magazine [of course this is my mom’s bible, not mine]. Fiuh…this is shows how’s love could be so mean. Masa sesuatu yg ga bisa qta dapetin malah bakal paling sulit dilupakan. It’s not fair… But, maybe it’s true. Ecspecially for the qonquerer-club. Huehehe.
Kay teori ‘hard-to-get’ effect di psi social, maqin susah qta ngedapetin sesuatu itu, qta bakal maqin menghargainya. Coz I can’t reach him, I can’t replace him with another. His position is get stronger. So, another guyz is just like a commercial break, and he’s the box-office movie. Crazee. I hate to say this. It just like I can’t control myself.
Ok, back to topic. Actually right now I’m trying to evaluate. Is this just an euphoria for a while, coz ‘cinta-yang-tak-teraih’ itu adalah serpihan puzzle yg ilang n bqn qta penasaran selama hidup? Or this is a true feeling? Smuanya tumpang tindih, lo.
Somehow, it blast on my mind: is it possible to be some punishment for the qonquerer? Oh, it was a curse. That’s why I should have an apology as soon as possible. Someone should heal me. I think the cure is being victim in some eventual trap. Do u agree?

“Always like that” 29 Janvier 08

Sometimes I thought that I’m afraid to commitment. There’ll always a big excitement when I begin a relationship. Moreover when I trying to attract them n to keep them tight in a curiousity. Like a spider trap the victim. It just like…ur adrenaline all over ur body. Then stupid question in mind: is he the one? Always like that. Like a circle of evil. We see, we meet, we talk, we flirt each other.
But, when they’re already in hand, I walk to the door. Mission accomplished. I say goodbye. Always like that. God, I don’t know when it over? I’ve tried to pay attention, but somehow they’re not interesting anymore. Don’t say they’re my toys. They were not like that at all. For God sake, they’re great guys with a great intention [it was amazing to knew them]. They’re just wanna make me happy. But, I don’t have any idea…is there something wrong with me? God, I won’t ask for more. I want something simple. It just like a song …
I love u to love me, I need u to need me