“What am I searching for?”

Today I realize something. I don’t really know what I’m searching from a guy. What kind of guy that suitable for me. Gosh, so complicated. Do I wish perfection? Coz I feel I wanna live in simplicity. Just like Catherine Boyd’s life in IQ. She lived in quite town, gathered with people she knew and could do what she wants.

Now I’m flashback to the past, remembering guys who entered my life. I’m start to think that, wow…it’s so grey. In the past I never think this far, I didn’t pay attention about who really they are. I mean, I didn’t thought about their past, their family, their daily life, their habit, their obsession. We bring our box when we go anywhere, right? It is scary to accept another people in my life, they’re totally stranger. When two strangers become one in relationship is a big thing for me. I don’t think I can accept him and his box, also I’m not sure he can accept me with my box.

Well, maybe…the problem is in my side, I’m thinking about this too complicated, too far. My friend said, running relationship is simple as long you think it’s simple, life is too short to be worry. But the other side, it’s fair for me to understand what kind relationship I will dealing with in the future. I mean, I’m trying to learn how I can live with a stranger in relationship. Then I think over about this, why I feel or think like this. I got the answer: I don’t really know what I want, so I should figure it out by myself. I need peaceful right now.